approaching joy

When I Grow Up :: Series Introduction

I did everything "right" coming out of high school.  

I had a full scholarship.
I quickly got involved on my college campus. 
I went to class every day. 
I studied but didn't live in the library. 
I used college as a time to crawl of out the quiet bookworm shell that I had developed in high school. 

By the end of my four years, I was on a first name basis with the president of the university and graduated with honors. But despite the accolades, the gauntlet of tests, and the senior research project I was not a step closer to knowing what I wanted to be "when I grew up".  

It could be argued that this large question mark was a result of my lack of focus.  I started out majoring in agriculture, tested the waters of several degrees, and ended up with a degree in psychology.  

It could be argued that I didn't have the confidence in myself that is needed to pursue anything of significance.  "I made a 'B' in College Algebra. There's no way I could be a pediatrician," and "I'm not near as talented at writing papers as my friend who is pre-law; obviously there's no way I could hack it in law school," were common thoughts. 

It could also be argued that I looked at every potential major (and the resulting career) in the light of, "Is this something I could do in small town Arkansas?"  Home was literally all I knew and, as a result, had no intention on abandoning it.  Anything creative was automatically was out of the picture: I hadn't the patience, desire, and (let's be honest) skill to be a high school art teacher.  "What other creative options are available to someone who lived in a busting town of 10,000?" (As I and the Internet have grown, I realize this was a short sited view, but it was my view nonetheless.)

As a result, I've spent the last ten years in pursuit of the elusive answer to this question.  The continual nagging of self questioning that happened in college led into a full onslaught of personal debate and constant uncertainty.  After all, wasn't 20% of a real adult's time spent at their job? Wasn't this suppose to answer a major question about who I was as a person and, to a certain degree, map out how my life would play out?  I was perpetually looking for the next best answer to this question.  I continually swerved back and forth between the creative possibilities I truly desired and the practical pursuits that my blue collar background demanded. 

As a week's worth of posts have described, I finally feel like I've discovered a good spot with blogging, but the past fifteen years of continuous job searching has altered the way I look at the world.  I'm constantly observing the people around me, judging their career satisfaction level, and dissecting both their personality and job demands to see what kind of alchemy is needed to find that perfect job that eluded me for so long. 

It is with all this in mind that I am psyched to tell you about a series I have in the works where I spend time with locals who have careers that I can honestly describe as enviable.  While with them I spend time in the crossroads of passion, drive, intelligence, skill, and talent that each of these individuals uniquely possess.  Starting this series has given me insight into my own search for the perfect career; I hope that it can bring the same sort of positive inspiration to you as well.

What about you: Was finding the right career instant like opening that perfect gift from a friend or was it more like mine (i.e.it resembles that horrid three hours in the fitting room trying to find a good pair of jeans)?

Random Ramblings :: Opportunity Cost

I have always been a horrible decision maker.  This has never been because I was apathetic or because I don't have an opinion.  In fact, it is generally the opposite.  I care deeply about the things that happen in my life and am constantly aware of how certain decisions have the ability to absolutely define the direction of one's life.  I believe I have always been a horrible decision maker because I fully realize the concept of opportunity cost:  the insistent fact that by making a single choice many other great options are no longer available.

Strangely, I realized this recently when I was playing around on Instagram recently.  I say "play" because I was originally sitting down to write and catch up on email.  I went to a beautiful local library and sat down in front of an immense wall of windows that overlooked the south end of Fayetteville. A huge swath of rolling Ozark hills acted as a counterpoint to the angles of the town and a beautifully intense blue sky acted as the backdrop.  The light from outside fell in such an interesting way and framed by a window sat a fern with branches that resembled the plumage of a peacock.  

There was nothing to do but put off work and take a picture.  I snapped it without too much thought and went to edit it quickly before sending it off onto the world wide web and settling back in tot the rest of my day.  For those of you not familiar with Instagram there is an option that allows users to "focus" on a certain subject by blurring the other portions of the image out.  But while editing the picture I had to pause:  What did I want to focus on?  Would it be the intricate fern in front of me?  The patterns the light made on the floor?  One particular building in front of me?  The hills kissing the horizon?  So I tried one option, and then another, and then another… When I focused on the plant, some of the beauty of the horizon in front of me was lost.  When I focused on the town, the beautiful patterns of light turned into a shapeless blob. 

15 minutes later as I realized that my lack of decision had taken the whole concept of "instant" out of Instagram, it came to me: This is exactly how I live my life.  I have always been afraid to commit to one option because I can see the beauty in all the others.  

This has been especially relevant as of late in that I have been offered so many opportunities that are so great I would have hardly admitted to even dreaming of them.  No I haven't secured a book deal and no I didn't sign a milling contract while in New York. (Ha.)  But I'm working harder than I feel like I ever have before.  I am doing things that I love and am blessed that people seem to like it so much that they keep asking for more.  And suddenly opportunity cost comes into play: By saying yes, to one opportunity I am unable to say yes to another.  That forces me to look at my larger goals and really tackle the "What do I want to be when I grow up?" question, which, in turn, means that there are even more opportunity cost issues with which I must deal. 

And I feel like I am "gragging" ("gragging" being the made up word that happens when one combines "griping" and "bragging").  
"Must be hard to have such an awesome dilemma!  This chick is griping about having too much creative work in an economy that is, by most definitions, 'struggling'.  What a brat."
I can imagine hearing those exact words coming out of my own mouth if I had read them on someone else's blog even six months ago.

So I apologize for the grag, but I don't apologize for the sentiment:  By saying "yes" to one thing, one must say "no" to others.  I don't like saying no.  I want the whole picture to be sharp so that I can focus on what most interests me from one moment to the next.

Approaching Goals :: October 2012

Yes, I'm a week late posting my monthly goals.
Yes, I still want to post them.
Accountability is good stuff and this public sharing of goals holds me to these things.

Blog 

• Highlight my part of the world
  I really don't ever remember saying it in an actual blog post (and my "about me" section just barely counts) but I live in Northwest Arkansas and absolutely love it here.  As I told Joy of The Frock Files the region I now call home is "an amazing little amalgam of small towns that has grown into a pretty cool place".  And yes, I've lived other places and know that there is likely to be a handful of people who would express some doubt about this last statement but I want to prove them wrong: I'm super excited to play tour guide and call attention to different areas of my new home. 
• Establish more relationships with local artists & businesses & organizations.
  This is actually goes hand in hand with the goal above: one of the reasons I consider the area so great is partially because the people I have met and interacted with are fabulous.  
• Invite company over.
  As you probably know, the Mister and I are getting married at the end of the month.  As I have come to learn recently, wedding planning is no joke.  Now that everything is down to the wire I am warmly welcoming a cadre of the coolest people I know and have asked them to write about moments in their life that have been "life changers".  I am nothing short of stoked to see what every one of them plans to bring as guest bloggers here at Approaching Joy.

Writing-  

• Write a magazine article.
  This is a big one guys.  I am chatting with a local artist about her process and would love to take those talks and turn them into a long-form type article which I would then pitch to different magazines.  While the hurdles that come in between this goal and I are sizable, I am really passionate about pursing this to see where it goes.

Personal 

• Find a bathing suit.
  On a last, much lighter note, I am getting married- Woot!  This means I will also be honeymooning in Hawaii- Double woot!  This calls for a new bathing suit, would you agree?

Lately... A day in my life

I recently realized (because of insights made at AWBU, because of this Fashion Week opportunity, and because of some good ole' encouragement from friends and family) that not only am I a writer but I am a full time blogger.  That realization makes me crazy grateful for the life I am leading despite the crazy schedule that comes with it.  

Here is a snapshot of one day last week:

• 6:15
  Wake up before my alarm (lots of things to do and ready to start my day). Grab a soda to get my brain caffeinated and going.
• 6:30 - 7:15
  Get ready while emailing about upcoming appointments and catching up with Twitter.
• 7:15
  Where is my make-up bag?!?!?
• 7:18
  Make-up bag found!!
• 7:25
  Out the door and on the road to south NWA. Listening to the news about Hurricane Issac and sending positive thoughts to all the people who were affected.
• 7:55
  I stand outside to take a picture of the coffee shop where I have my first meeting.  My appointment comes to the other door to show me the way in and realizes that I'm just a photo happy fool.
• 8:00 - 8:55
  First meeting of the day. I'm hoping to get my site optimized and am ecstatic that the folks at Haden Interactive are helping me with the process.  
• 8:55 - 9:20
  Shop for a hard drive and battery back up at big box tech store.
  I have been lucky by not having any major back up catastrophes so far but my boss Dale has thoroughly convinced me that luck only takes you so far.  The battery back up is for my upcoming travel.  Have you ever been stranded in the Memphis airport minus a cell phone while a hurricane invades the south?  I have and it's the most vulnerable position I have been in during recent memory.  I'm determined not to let that happen again.
• 9:30 - 12
  Back at the original coffee shop. Writing, writing, writing.  Asking permission to use pictures that aren't mine. Editing pictures that are mine.  Writing some more.  I have so much to catch up on since I was conferencing this past weekend and I've got insanely busy weeks ahead.  I have to take every spare second available to make sure that there will be something new and intriguing up on this site consistently during the next few weeks.
• 12 - 12:30
  Talk to my mom.  She's catching up on my plans for the fall and there's a lot to tell her.
• 12:30 - 12:45
  Confirm two meetings tomorrow morning.  Everyone's schedule is busy and even though I don't have set hours I still have to be able to work with others during their hours.
• 12:45 - 1  
  Wrap up a couple posts and head out to my next appointment.
• 1- 1:15
  Confirm scheduling details for my upcoming bridal shots with my hair and makeup master.  (Her name is Fallon; she blogs at WearBender and rocks my world!)
• 1:15 - 2
  Visit Mae's Emporium here in town and finally catch up with the owner.  This vintage jewelry store is nothing short of fabulous and she is allowing me to wear several of her pieces during fashion week.  So honored!!  (Did you see the post where I showed off her store the other day?)
• 2 - 2:30
  Pick up fast food lunch as I drive across town to get to work.
• 2:30 - 7 Work at Benfield Photography.  I told you about how I got the job here but I'm transitioning into a different position within their team and have lots to learn.  I am excited about the possibilities that this will bring and the skills that I will surely learn, but it's a level of responsibility that is humbling.  Bonus points: That night they fed me and it was nothing short of amazing.
• 7 - 7:30
  Head home to north NWA. Josie Dog is not going to know what to do with herself, since the Mister is out of town and she hasn't seen anyone all day.
• 7:30
  Yep, she's excited.
• 7:30 - 10
  Polish off the posts that I scheduled earlier in the day.  My writing generally goes from a rough outline (which I sometimes tap out on my iPhone) to a correct grammar but bare bones post to a polished, pretty, and scheduled post.
• 10 - 10:30
  Chores. Boo. Hate them.
• 10:30 - 11:30
  I recently started working as a virtual assistant for a local author.  This lady (who I promise to share details about later) is as good at finding humor in a everyday life as she is at being a modern day business woman.  Totally thankful that I'm a part of her team.
• 11:30
  Get ready for bed.  I am reading "The Creative Habit" as something to learn but also unplugs my brain for the evening.  I've got a meeting at 8 a.m. in the morning and both of us have confessed to not be morning people.  I'm going to need every ounce of sleep I can get.

Any other "work at home"  folks out there understand the craziness of this schedule?  Anyone else knew what it's like to camp out at a coffee shop for hours at a time?

And don't forget the giveways here and here! 

And now a word about the benefits of blogging... Part Two

This post is Part Two of The Benefits of Blogging.  You can read Part One here.  Like I mentioned yesterday, I don't claim to be a "pro blogger", the "best blogger", or even a "super experienced blogger"; more than anything I am a woman who recently (within the last nine months) started blogging and has learned a lot along the way.

Yesterday, I spoke about how blogging is the most perfect form of communication for anyone looking at showing both the word and themselves that they have something to say.  When presented on a blogging platform, what you have to say and support can be a true benefit to everyone involved.

Here's a few tips to get you started:

• Know the basics.
  Spelling and grammar matter. If you're not sure, ask (even if it's Google that you're asking). You are presenting yourself to the world; show them that you care enough about their time to catch your own mistakes.  
• Encourage input and grow your community.  
  Tell your friends you're blogging and if you are really proud of a particular post put it on Facebook. Ask questions at the end of a blog post to get your reader's reaction to what you've just told the.  If anyone has a discouraging comment channel Dr. Suess: "People that matter don't mind, and people that mind don't matter."
• Be yourself.
  There's a reason Brad Pitt and Julia Robert get paid the big bucks: It's hard work being someone else. If you bring your own voice passion and opinion to your blog from the beginning you won't ever have to struggle with finding the right words to say, you'll just write what's in your head.  

That being said: blogging isn't necessarily easy.
It takes self determination, to push past writer's block and to consistently create content of which you are proud.  The second part of continually searching out and then engaging the community that you want to build around your place is equally vital as well.  It's only as you build these connections that your blog becomes an example of the power of how how social media can make a difference in your life and the things that matter to you.