I like to write.
I'm not sure that I have ever made that a matter of public knowledge. Actually, if I'm being totally honest with myself, it would probably be closer to the truth to say that I have hardly acknowledged my own proclivity for writing over the years. Today I am changing that.
When other teenagers where sharing secrets over the phone for hours, I was in bed scrawling out the drama of my day. I'd find myself writing in tiny script using the outermost margins of whatever blank journal had made it's way in front of me so that it would last as long as possible. As soon as Christmas or my birthday came around I would ask for another. This was not because I "liked" to write; I just wasn't a phone person and needed a place to vent.
As an undergrad, writing came easily. I never found it odd that I could relate to (and therefore write about) the characters in the Epic of Gilgamesh, the Odsessy or the Canterbury Tales. Once again I never imagined that was because I "liked" to write, but rather, I knew what a wanted to say and had a pretty good grasp of the English language with which to say it.
In grad school, writing is like breathing, in that, if you don't do it you don't survive. So I wrote and wrote and wrote and then, craziness of all craziness, I started a blog because I wanted to write more. And since I've been blogging I've realized that it's really not because I "like" to write; it's because I have to write.
Admitting that I choose to write, that I enjoy writing, or that I have to write is a big deal for me. Even writing this post has taken a week and a half of starts and stops and constant self-confidence checks:
- "Am I okay with admitting something to the interweb that I have taken so long to admit to myself?"
- "What if I get flack from people who come to this site via a craft/food/fashion link? They don't give a flying flip about my writing aspirations..."
- "What if a 'real writer' stumbles upon this blog and laughs?"
- "What if someone glances at anything on this blog (including this post) and publicly deems it unworthy of such writer-ly aspirations?" (Yep, there's my made up word of the week for you: "writer-ly" and also, an easy explanation for my worrying.)
Regardless of all those insecurities (and oh so many more), today I'm claiming it. In the timeless words of the rap duo Tag Team circa 1993, "Whoomp! There it is!"
Thanks, as always, for letting me write. You have no idea how much I appreciate the support, you, my readers, give me.